Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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