i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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