someone owes me an orgasm
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
