DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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