I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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