i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
