I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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