I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize