If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize