She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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