So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize