my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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