he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize