You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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