youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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