I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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