I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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