I will die if light touches me.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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