I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
