i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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