You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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