Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize