You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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