Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize