And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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