just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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