East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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