my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
