Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.