i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
50% drunk capacity currently
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.