There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit