Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.