yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize