bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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