Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
please don't ironically join a cult
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