Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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