it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
