Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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