they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
