I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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