Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.