I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration