I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman