I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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