Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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