You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Someone shit on the floor
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
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you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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