so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
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I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.