i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog