so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??