if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship