Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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