He uses pillows to masturbate.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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