So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
