I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.