mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
