You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
