how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
