I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
